Recently I was shown through meditation that I have two different paces inside myself.
One is a fast paced drive that allows me to accomplish pretty much everything on my to-list in hours. When I tap into this pace, I do not get overwhelmed. I put my head down and go. The downside is that I miss Sacred moments because I am driving.
The other is my contemplative pace, an inner spiritual pace aligned with the heartbeat of Mother Earth. It is a pace that invites me to notice and linger and savor the Sacred in everything I do. Somehow, everything gets done in its own time. Rarely do I miss Sacred moments.
At first, I thought I was being shown these two paces as a way of being informed that this fast pace is an unfreedom in my life. As I have welcomed this faster pace into my being fully as part of me, I realize they are both gifts; both vital parts of me; both working together needing to be more fully integrated.
Without the fast paced drive I would not have been able to accomplish all that needed to be done in the last six weeks as I accepted a new position, packed my belongings, found an apartment, traveled for the holidays, moved 3 hours away, preached every Sunday and then began the new position on Jan 1. Without that drive, I would have been stuck in overwhelmed-ness. That drive is a gift that helps me move into what I am manifesting.
However, it can hinder my life. It can become a distraction if I do not fully integrate it into my contemplative life; fully accept it as part of me. I can become wrapped up in the to-do list of my world so much that I miss the Sacred when she brushes up against me.
I was shown these two different paces in my life so that I could begin to integrate what I considered unfreedom into the fullness of my being — a both/and reality. It is a paradox that I am opening myself to.
What I am learning is that if I live in the paradox of both/and, my contemplative self will jar me out of my fast paced self to notice something beautiful. It will stop me right where I am until I notice how the Sacred is brushing up against me. My contemplative self wants me to experience Spirit in the here and now, every day, and she will make herself known. And my fast paced self will step in to help me accomplish all that I need to accomplish on long full days/weeks, keeping my energy flowing and vibrant.
Just the other day, I noticed this happening. I had gone to the beach to feed my Soul. I had been at a wandering pace all day, enjoying the Ocean, noticing the sand, the shells, the waves, the birds, the beauty. Lingering. Savoring. Listening. Singing. Answering.
There came a moment when I was so cold and exhausted all I wanted was to get back to the warmth of my car. My drive kicked in. I put my head down and walked briskly toward my car. Then something jarred me; stopped me dead in the middle of a patch of reeds. I stood listening to what sounded like a pattering of rain. I stood and listened to the Sacred sing through the wind and reeds. It was beautiful, soft; a whisper. I almost missed it.
I am coming to trust my inner contemplative, knowing she will alert me to the presence of the Sacred. When she does, I take heed and notice, linger, savor each moment, each brushing, each tangible experience.
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