Friday, January 17, 2014

Meeting my Mystical Self

I have not written in a long time.  Yesterday’s painting ignited my blog energy again!

Here is what I noticed that excited me so much:  Intuitive painting is a healing art!!  It really is.  I knew it.  Now I KNOW it.  I EXPERIENCED it yesterday.

I have been painting for about three years now.  When I look back at where I was, at my paintings three years ago, I see my healing journey through paint and paper. I see the old patterns being let go and transformed into new ways of being.  I see old wounds being healed and released.

Yesterday I had this grace-filled moment when I my mind went “I do not know who that is painting.  I do not know this style and color choice.”  

My heart answered  “You!  That is the new You, Your True Self.”

Wow. 

The beauty of the session was that, for the most part, I was out of my mind and in my heart.  The running internal commentary went something like this:

“Gold, bright pink, bright orange, bright blue, bright green, black, bright pink, gold, no the other gold..” and so on.

It was color.  My heart spoke color.  My body chose the shape and placement of the color.   

Every so often my mind would jump in to contain what was happening.  Use that dark purple.  Put a gold outline around that heart.  Oooo look a brain/mind.  Contain.  Old practices.  It would stop me for a moment.  Then I would reassure my mind and fall back into my heart and paint…


My heart wanted freedom; joy; laughter; brightness.  My heart wanted to show me what my energy looks like, feels like after all this intense healing work I have been doing.

That is what happened.  I came to this place when there was one movement, a curving in my hand, and one color, white.  I covered the painting with white, curving and twisting the paint around.  I struggled with letting go of that heart I outlined and the blue flower at the bottom of the painting.  I struggled.  I kept working around both until I heard “Just do it.”

I took a breathe and let go.  I let go of that unfreedom and found freedom and beauty in the process.  The release brought energy and lightness to my Spirit.

When I was done my mind looked at the painting and said “You blurred the vision.”  And my heart broke.  I found myself walking away from the painting back to the place I would sit to hide from what was happening. (the old ways)  I sat.  I looked up and GRACE happened.


I had not blurred the painting.  It was iridescent!  It glowed!!!  It is so beautiful!!

I smiled.  My heart was full of joy, laughter, lightness of Spirit, peace.

There I am!!!  The new me glowing, shining forth!!!

The lines of demarkation are gone.  I have found Union with the Sacred.

That is my journey.  That is my deepest desire.  For a moment I saw that reality; I felt that reality; I experienced myself as one with the Universe.

I witnessed my mystical self born anew!!

Blessed be.

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