Learning to Sing my Heart's Song...

My shaman gave me an exercise the first time I met with her.  She told me to sing, to find my note.  She gave me a few exercises to get started and set me on my way.  She told me it would help me find my voice, strengthen my voice, and step into ME more.  She was right.

I do not have confidence in my singing voice.  People told me when I was young that I sang off-tone.  I grew up believing that I should not sing because I did not have the talent for it.

But this was a different singing.  This was singing my song, my note, my heart.  It was for me, not for anyone around me.

So, I began.  It felt weird at first.  But as I went through the exercises I began to have more and more confidence in my voice.  I began to relax.  I began to feel more free.  I began to let my heart sing.  I began to dance with my song.

And all along, I continued my daily creative ritual of working on one piece for a long time.  What I noticed was that my singing and dancing wanted to become part of my creative ritual.  My heart song wanted to be expressed not just through dance and song, but also through paint (or in this case iBrushes on my iPad).

I woke up one morning with my Creative Self wanting to express movement and dancing.  She wanted to engage my Heart.  I added the musical notes, the door, the hearts coming out of the door and the big red heart surrounding the entire movement.

As I continued to work with this movement, the piece morphed into a large blue heart with musical notes filling it.

My heart song began to grow and develop and strengthen and dance from my heart.

And the vine appeared one morning flowing from the outline of my heart.  Her branches surrounded my spirit guides.  She reached to the corners of the piece.

Flowers joined the song.

And then, She exploded a beautiful yellow flower inside my Heart.

Followed in the next few days by blue, purple, red, orange and green flowers.  Each emanating from the place where the branches expand.

It felt like my heart was trumpeting loudly its song into the Universe.

So I kept at it.  I kept at the singing and dancing.  I kept watching as more and more spirit guides appeared in my piece.

I watched as the purple star of fear appeared without stopping me in my tracks.  I sang and danced and there it was, part of the song, part of the dance, part of me welcomed and accepted.

As hurricane Sandy blew through the area, blew up the inner storm of my Soul, I watched how the Shadow entered its way into my heart and song.  I noticed how as the Shadow entered in, as the storm exploded within my desire to sing each morning weakened and my heart song quieted.  I felt tired, drained, off balance.  And it showed in my piece.

Tears fell.  Shadow darkened my heart song.

And yet I prayed for the reigniting of this joyous discipline.  I prayed for the spark of song to reappear.  I prayed for Light and laughter.  I prayed that the Holy hold me in Her heart.

And I noticed that the song began anew there, in the heart of God, there surrounded by the Sacred Light.  It grew.  It echoed outward.

Light outlined my heart. 

The Sacred blossomed forth in each trumpeting flower.

And it turned to fire, 

to flame, 

to movement, 

to passion...

And my heart reappeared, new, transformed.

My song began again.  

Different this time. 

Strong.  Tender.  

Prayer-filled.

And the Sacred joined me

and danced with me

and sang with me

and I feel loved

and held

and deeply blessed!