Flowing with the Energy of the Paint

I came to this painting differently than I have with others.  I wanted to continue my conversation with the paint that I am having around integrating my multiple dreams in life.  This time, I decided to set my intention in a different way by asking the painting a question; literally.  I began the painting by painting words with my fingers on the paper; words that represented the dreams that I am seeking to incorporate into my life.  I used the color themes from the previous paintings  -- purple, green and red -- to ask the question.  Then I rubbed the questions, the words, into the paper, into the painting, setting my intention; asking my question.

As I painted the words on the paper, I received an invitation to continue to paint with just my hands.  This changed the painting experience for me.  It became more physical.  There was nothing between me and the paint.  There was no space between the energy of the paint and my energy.  I experienced this painting.  My body had to be fully engaged in the painting for it to happen.  And that was a powerful experience that really brought to life the flow of my energy in my body.

I began by forming circles on the paper.  Purple circles.  Green circles. Red circles.  Then I started moving, blending the paint; pulling the paint up and down, left to right;  allowing the paint to flow however it wanted to.  I added more paint, different colors where I felt the invitation.  I rubbed them together flowing, curving according to how my body wanted to flow with the paint.  Some times I slapped the paint on, large quantities of paint.  Other times, I used one or two fingers to add various amounts of paint and rub them in.  And yet, at other times, I gently added tinted white to bring out the flow of the paint, to allow the colors to do what they wanted. 

I found at times I worked vigorously, really working the paint, the colors and paper together.  At other times, I worked gently enhancing, adding details to the flow.  

For much of the time, I left the bottom right corner empty.  I put a circle there.  First purple.  That wasn’t right.  Then lighter purple.  Not right.  Then white.  Definitely not right.  And finally yellow.  Yes, yellow felt right.  I added different tones of yellow allowing them to come together and become the yellow they wanted to be.

Between changes of the color of the circle, I returned to the flow.  I flowed around that circle awaiting the moment of YES!  And when it came, something broke free; something released inside me.  Something invited me deeper and deeper into the flow of my energy, into how it was flowing, where it was not flowing.  I ran out of time.  The “ah ha” moment came at the right time; awakening me to the work that needs to be done; to the call to go deeper into my chakras, into my energy, into what the Holy is inviting me to do and be in the world.

I have been doing just that for the past few weeks.  I have started writing morning pages (a spiritual discipline suggested by the Artists Way).  I have explored those monsters in my life; those people and experiences that have squashed my energy, my power, my will.  I have written them out realizing that the theme is about my voice in the world.  And that makes sense to me.  

Blue is the color of the throat chakra, the voice, the place from which I communicate my truths and express my thoughts, beliefs, opinions in the world.  Blue is a color I have longed stayed away from in painting.  In my personal supply I don’t have any.  I covered the blue ray in my goddess paint with clouds and the spiral journey.   Blue is the color I chose for those tears on my second chakra painting.  Blue was the hardest color to add to this flowing painting.  (I glossed over the blue time and time when I went to pick a new color.)  Blue is my block; where my energy gets caught; where I have experienced deep spiritual violence.

And that makes sense to me.  I am stuck in the awakening of my dreams and visions.  I am stuck in bringing them to fruition.  I am at the place where I need to use my voice to begin to express and develop these dreams in myself and in the world.   I am at the gathering place -- the place of gathering those who will help me discern and ignite these visions in the world. This requires my voice...