Lessons from my dog...

Today is a gorgeous day.  The sun is shining.  The temperature is perfect for a walk with a coat and no hat.  So I headed out for a walk with my dog, Anouk.

She taught me again about enjoyment and living fully and vibrantly in the present moment.

We walked along and off she went into the snow.  Flop.  Rolling. Digging her head under the snow.  Rolling.  Romping.  Full delight.  Full focus.  Full presence.  No worrying about what is next.  

I was struck today by how important a lesson that is for us humans.  We worry about tomorrow, our to-do list, and a whole variety of things.  We live in our heads.  We think about our future, hoping for something to happen — living not in the present but rather in our hoped for future.  We remember the past, the ‘good times’ wishing they would come back — we live in our past.

What is it about the present moment that challenges us?  Why is it so difficult to live fully in the here and now — the present moment?

Here’s the thing:  when I do surrender to the present moment time slows down.  Spirit is tangible.  I notice beauty.  I experience peace and harmony.  I hear the call of my Heart.  I feel my breathe entraining to the breathe of God.  I know, at the core of my being, that I am not alone in my life; and that even in the midst of my most challenging moments I am loved. 

So why do not choose to live fully in the present moment more often?

For now, I thank Anouk for reminding me that the present moment is a grand place to live!  

Confession time...

The past few weeks I have been in a funk.  I have eaten according to my mood — stuff I would not choose to eat.  I have watched more Netflix in the past two weeks than in the past year.  I am sleeping horribly.  I am in a funk!

Then it snowed.  Again.  For like the 15th time this winter and I was stuck inside.  My funk got worse and I yelled out the Spirit, “What is causing this funk?”  I do not know what I expected.  No voice yelled back at me.  There was silence.  I sat down on my couch defeated and closed my eyes.  I sat there in silence.

Then I realized I had not sat in silence before the Sacred in weeks.

Oh, I had not sat in silence in weeks. So, I opened my eyes, turned and picked a SoulCard.  I picked this woman who was standing in a prayer position.  Red strands were going from Her up to Heaven above.  Blue strands were flowing down from Heaven to Her, surrounding Her.

I do not think Spirit could have been clearer.  I have been neglecting my spiritual self-care.  My wellspring was dry.  Hence the funk.  That dialogue, that respect, that love, that grace, those blessings…all that I have experienced when I am connected to the Sacred was lacking.  I was not taking the time to notice Spirit’s movement in my life; to send my love and respect to Spirit.

So, I took a retreat in my own apartment.  I accepted the blessing of the snow days.  I went deep into prayer.  I sat in silence.  I painted my prayer.  I journaled.  I journeyed.  I reconnected!!

And guess what?  My funk is dissipating.  I have more energy.  I am writing again.  I am feeling like I want to care for myself better.  I am out and about more.  I am laughing and enjoying Spirit’s presence in my life.

It is important that we pay attention to our connection to the Sacred.  It makes a huge difference in my day.  I would guess in yours as well.

I invite you to be conscious of how you are connected to God.  Make a conscious choice.  Take the time YOU need to fill your wellspring.  Watch what happens inside you and around you as a result of consciously connecting to the Sacred.

a mini Sabbath on Jones Beach

I have a dream to create a Spirituality Center.  I have named it the Sabbath Center. My hope is to offer a place where people can come and commune with the Sacred, deepen their connection to all that is Holy. 

And yet, many of us feel we are too busy to get away.  How can we take a week, or even a weekend, off when all these tasks need to be accomplished?  How can we take time away for ourselves when we really ought to be with family/friends/lovers?  It is important to feed ourselves; to take care of our Souls; of our relationship to the Sacred.

I believe we need to not just take chunks of time away, but carve out a moment each day to connect to the Sacred.  So I began to wonder, how can I offer mini-sabbaths?  What would a mini-sabbath look like?  Feel like?

Walking the beach the other day, I took a video.  Very short.  I watched it later in the week when life to extremely busy and stressful.  I noticed my breathe deepened, the worlds melted away, the Sacred stepped forward.  Me and the Sacred for barely one minute of video.  A mini-sabbath.  

I will offer you all mini-sabbaths from time to time.  Short video clips.  Maybe a photo/image to contemplate for a minute.  A portal into the world of the Sacred.

I pray and hope you feel Spirit moving in your soul; you feel your breathe deepen and slow; you feel the busyness of the world melt away.  I pray and hope for that one minute you stand before all that is Sacred in this Universe and breathe in that revitalizing healing energy.

Blessed be.

Setting My Intention

A friend of mine creates an image every year that she puts out into the world.  I have wished I could do that.  What would it be like to live with an image created by me for the year? 

Well, I woke up the other day and realized I do that.  I  have created an image each year for the past three years.  I paint my “Inner Goddess” each January/February.  My friend offers the class and I seem to be repeating it annually.  The first time it was a birthday present to myself.  The second time another birthday present.  This time it was the knowledge that the images I create in that class set forth intention for the year.  This time I came at it prayerfully asking my Intuitive Creative Self to place forth my Soul’s intention for this year.  I will live into the Intention; into that Image; into that prayer.

The first year I had not touch paint or paper before.  It was all new.  This beautiful image was created.  My dream of a spirituality center came forth.  The invitation to deep inner healing was received.

The second year I did not understand the invitation in the image.  It felt like closure from my previous year.  Yet, there was Snake.  Last year was an invitation to shed all those false unneeded layers of myself, to step into my Authentic self and to allow Her to bloom, to grow into the beautiful vibrant tree I painted.

This year, my Goddess Glowed!!!   When I am in Her midst, I feel Her Glow; Her vibrancy; Her power.  She will manifest in this world something amazing.  I look forward to what it will be.

Her name is Hineni (yes the name of my blog).  She has journeyed far and long to arrive here in my midst.  She is the Goddess of Rebirth.  She will teach me how to reverence the fullness of my being, how to live fully both Light and Shadow, how to be One with the Sacred.

She gave me a gift the evening after I painted Her.  A simple Haiku:

Reverence the Glow

Merging of Shadow and Light

Immersed in Blessing.

Prayer Practice: Praying with Sacred Images

There is a contemplative prayer practice called Praying with Icons.  In this practice, one is invited to contemplate an Icon (a Sacred image), to sit in front of the Icon and allow it to become part of you.  You notice how it moves your spirit.  You notice what it says to you.  You notice how the Sacred moved from it to you.  The Icon/Image becomes a window or mystical portal through which you encounter the Sacred.

I have taken this prayer form in my own fashion.  I do not have official Icons around my house.  I have decks of Sacred cards: SoulCards, Healing Heart Cards, Goddess Cards, and Ocean Oracle Cards.  Each deck comes into my life on its own and I receive them.   Each deck contains images of the Sacred.  They are all beautiful and iconic.

I pray with them.  I shuffle the deck, images away from me.  I place them on a flat surface and spread out the deck, like you would a Tarot deck.  I allow my intuitive self and my heart to pick the card.  I grab the card I am most attracted to.  I meditate with that image for a time.  I live with that image for the week.

After reflecting upon desert spirituality, I picked up my SoulCards deck.  I choose my card.  I have never seen this card before, and I have been picking from this deck for years!  I even sometimes look through the images.  Never came across it.

When I looked at this beautiful woman my heart opened deeper to this invitation into the desert.  There she was, a Desert Amma, right in front of me!  I held Her and meditated with Her for quite a while.  Then I carried Her with me for the entire day.  I am still carrying Her with me.

I find myself glancing over to look at Her to absorb more of Her beauty; more of Her earthiness; more of Her glow; more of Her connection to the Sacred.

I want to be HER!  

I have not had this experience before.  I have prayed with my cards for years.  My heart is moved.  Healing happens.  I am cracked open more.  The cards speak to the depth of my Soul.  And I have let each card go at the end of the week.  I have moved on to the next image.

Not with this one.  She went on retreat with me.  She went to Spiritual Direction with me, my companion calling me to be courageous and gentle.  She was next to me as  I painted my inner goddess.  I want Her guidance as I dive deep into this invitation to “Get up and Go For it.”

So, I am carrying Her with me.  I will continue to carry Her iconic image in my heart, soul, mind. Her mystical portal has opened widely in my heart and I am diving through it.

I invite you to contemplate a Sacred Image for a period of time.  

What image captures your attention?  What image draws you to a deeper experience of the Sacred?  Were you able to feel your mind descend into your heart as you gazed lovingly at the image?  How did you encounter the Sacred through that particular mystical portal?

Spend some time contemplating and living with that image.  Carry it with you if you must….

Spirit speaks...

I have Soul Collage Cards that I made a year ago.  When I moved into my apartment, I put them somewhere I could see them often.  I wanted to absorb their message and vibration and invitation.  One of the cards WILL NOT stay where I put it.  

This card jumps from its home at opportune moments.  Sometimes it wakes me in the middle of a dream, like “pay attention to what it happening there.”  Other times it jumps when specific thoughts are in my head.  “Pay attention!”  

The fun here is that the wording on the card says, “Get up and Go for it!”  The image is a hiker running down a trail.  For me, it is a powerful card.  It came together quickly and vibrantly.  When the card was created, it was LOUD.  

And now, it is jumping freely from wherever I place it!

Due to the number of times this has happened, I can no longer ignore that this is happenstance.  Spirit is speaking.  “Get up and Go for it!”

I am beginning to hear Her words.  I am beginning to allow those words to sink deep into my heart and spirit.  I am allowing them to percolate around in my being.  I do not know where they will take me yet….

I do know Spirit is giving me an invitation!

Spirit speaks in so many ways.  What I have been learning is that Spirit will continue to speak until I listen.  Now that I have listened, the card no longer jumps from its home.  Rather it emanates Light and Love and Wisdom, beckoning me on…   “Get up and Go for it!”

I wonder how Spirit speak to you? 

Perception is key...

I woke up the other morning with this energy flowing out of the bottom of my foot.  I have had this happen before.  It is a sign that my body wants to tell me something.  So, I sank into my heart to listen.

When I got to my heart, I opened all the drapes so I could see out into its landscape.  Much of the time the landscapes change as I change direction.  This time each drape I opened was the desert.  North.  South.  East.  West.  All desert.

Now, I know I am deep in grief — the grief that comes from major life transitions.  I have left my self-care healing support network, my community of friends, my creative community, my Sacred lands and moved away.  Grief is normal.

So when I saw the desert surrounding my heart, I wept.  I am in the desert, alone. Desolation entered my heart.

Then….  I stepped outside my heart chamber into that desert.  I reached down and scooped up some sand.  It felt Sacred in my hands.  I walked around the outside of my heart and watched the landscape change from Middle Eastern/ Northern Egyptian desert to SW New Mexico desert.  I saw the beauty around me.  The red rocks and mesas.  Flowers and trees.  Dunes.  Creatures. 

I was standing on Sacred ground — the ground of the Desert Abbas and Ammas; the ground of the Shaman.  This was no ordinary desert I am in.  This is an invitation to dive deep into desert spirituality; to learn the depth of what it can teach me, of how it can ground me and connect me to the Holy.

It is all about perspective.  One perspective leads me to desolation; the other to consolation — to communion with the Holy.

We have a choice in our experiences.  We can choose the lens through which we will perceive what we are experiencing.  That is our choice.

I choose desert spirituality.  I choose the invitation to sink deeper into the Holy.  

What would you choose?